I had a lovely day again with Christopher. We've been hanging out pretty much whenever we have time to see each other. It's been really great. I'm totally still high on caffiene because I drank tea when we went to Bon's for "brunch" (I can't really say brunch because you don't have a yuppie-sounding meal like brunch at a place like Bon's), and then I had like four cups of green tea at Soma while I read about Modernism and Christopher read about Postmodernism. The guy working there got a kick out of that. Then we walked up Main looking in vain for good boys' clothes in the many cool stores around Main and 20th. I love that neighborhood. I want to move there when (IF) I graduate.

It's been kinda bad because I haven't been doing any schoolwork. I just don't care much about it anymore. It's not like I've blocked out the learning of stuff - I'm reading some Anais Nin and Richard Brautigan and a book on Modernism and I just bought some more Hemingway and D.H. Lawrence today. I just am not into school anymore. I feel guilty about it because I'm so damn close to graduating, and if I don't start doing some work I won't graduate at all, and that's all my parents have been talking to me about lately. Aaaugh. Somebody tell me how to start caring.

I've been doing tons of cool stuff and having lots of fun, though. Christopher and I are totally in the same place in life right now, I think. We both are just interested in constantly trying new things and learning about everything. We have the same sense of humor, and we both like nature and romance and left-wing politics and dancing and hardcore and cheap healthy food and being silly and spastic.. and can you tell I'm crazily full of caffiene? Yeah.

My hair is bad and I need a haircut. I've been compensating by putting lots of product in it. I have no money right now. It's that time of year. I don't think anybody has any money.

I went to a Peace Rally yesterday at UBC. It was pretty pathetic - it ended with Bob Marley and people painting peace signs on their faces and lots of hippies with drums. I felt uncomfortable standing there, being associated with that kind of shit. War on Iraq totally fucking sucks, but I'm not really into "peace" per se. Peace equals status quo. Iraq should be able to defend itself against attack, which is also not peace. Class war isn't peace either. And all they did was talk about how big The Movement is and how it needs to be bigger, just like Vietnam, and how we're making history and blah blah blah. I guess it was pretty much run by the International Socialists and they're the worst thing ever, so you shouldn't expect much. I dunno.

I don't really know where I'm at politically. I guess I'm not a communist anymore (since the Sparts are the only real communists), but I also kinda think most of the left is pretty damn unsavory. Feminism is too Guilty-Liberal (I recently read Kathleen Hanna's Riot Grrl Manifesto and almost choked on my chai, it was so bad), social democracy is putrid (I saw a sign at the rally yesterday that said "Who would Jesus Bomb?" and I thought it was a joke, but apparently the social democrats have been pandering to Christians lately), and the anarchists will never get their shit together. But the communists are too serious and hardcore - you live your life for The Revolution. It's too damn depressing because what if The Revolution never happens? I guess I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Ack, I just inadvertently quoted U2. That sucks. I saw this quote on makeoutclub: "rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?" —George W. Bush

The entire world is just so fucked up that most of the time all I can do is despair about it. I chose the side of the petty-bourgeoisie in the end, so I guess that's all I can do. Navel gaze and despair.

I saw a genuinely scary movie the other day. The Ring. Most horror movies are just ridiculous, but this was really good. I recommend it, and I won't tell you anything about it because I think it's better that way.

I'm probably going to Kelowna in mid-March with Christopher. YES. Road trips are the fucking bomb. We went down to Bellingham last weekend to see the Red Light Sting and Femme Fatale, and it was so fucking awesome. We listened to good music, we got lost, we ate vegetable thins and ginger snaps and red hot fireballs and Taco Bell, and we talked lots and lots, and we made out in the car while listening to Hayden (soo romantic). And it was the smallest show - like 100 kids or less - and Joan of Arc is playing there this weekend, so we'll probably go down again. Fun times.

So, stuff I've been into lately:
music: the Misfits, Neil Perry, Saetia, the RED Light STIIING, converge, Modest Mouse, Buck 65.
books/authors: Introduction to Modernism, Richard Brautigan's Trout Fishing in America and In Watermelon Sugar (I don't really understand Watermelon Sugar, though), Anais Nin's Delta of Venus, The Great Gatsby.
places: the Naam, Bon's, used bookstores throughout the city, the library, Soma, Value Village.

ummmmmm.... I'm still totally hyper... I filled out a survey today that I found in a magazine when I was in first year. A fixed set of questions they would ask celebrities:

What is your least favourite word? n----r, or any word like that...

What turns you on, excites you, inspires you - phyically, creatively, spiritually? music, romance, reading, dancing.

What turns you off? machismo, stupidity, bigotry, dishonesty, capitalism and all its byproducts

What sound do you love? the sounds boys make when you're um... giving them pleasure..., music (of course), the sounds of oceans and wind and forests...

What sound do you hate? beeping, little kids whining, the sound your pencil makes when you try to erase something and the eraser is gone and the metal just scratches against the paper

What is your favourite curse word? cunt

What profession, other than yours, would you like to try? anything high-paying and easy

What profession would you least like to try? prostitution

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive? The Christians were definitely wrong, and you were definitely on the right track.

Freedom or determination? freedom

Luck or destiny? luck

L.A. or New York? that's hard, but probably NY

Art or money? art, obviously

Fame or vocation? vocation

Now or forever? now but that's hard

Progressive or conservative? pro-fucking-gressive!

Appalled or amused? usually appalled, but sometimes amused.

Worried or concerned? worried

There was a feature in the Onion AV Club once where they asked different celebrities whether or not God exists, and it definitely definitely made me appalled. Only like four people out of about 50 to 100 said There Is Definitely No God And I Am An Atheist. What kind of world do we live in that people haven't even figured out that we fucking made God up? These people need to listen to George Carlin a lot more.

Here are two nice pictures of me:

Anyway, I think I'm done chattering for now. Check out my words page - I updated it fairly recently. Also, you should start calling me Gnar-Gnar Mar-Mar. Gnar gnar is a fucking great expression (As in, "Let's thrash the gnar gnar"). Or Gnarlo. That would be good too.