blaahh.

I just got home from five hours of Safeway on Sunday. Safeway on Sunday is different from every other day, in that no matter what, it is always approximately 20,000 times busier than any other given day.

But I'm alive.

Arts County Fair day. I hung out and drank a rum and Coke with Matt and Chantille and Matt's friends from Aldergrove: Alex, Lindsay, and Tyler. They are all very cool kids. Alex spouts nothing but hilarious wisdom. I witnessed boys on my brother floor that drank way too much and got violent, and felt very disgusted. People were totally out of control everywhere around me. I went to the bathroom to get a drink of water, and there was puke in the sink. Some girls from my floor passed out and didn't make it to the fucking concert.

I went out for a walk, feeling very depressed about everything. As I walked out to the Museum of Anthropology, the thought life is pain kept repeating itself over in my head. I thought about all the bullshit that surrounds my relationship with Chantille and Matt. I thought about school, and money, and my parents. I wanted to die. By the time I got to the museum, I was crying, dragging my feet with every step. Then I went and sat on a bench overlooking the Rose Gardens, listened to the Beatles, and calmed myself. Became apathetic. I went to the library and got out Jailbird and Hocus Pocus by minor deity Kurt Vonnegut. I read for about an hour in the SUB, and felt infinitely better. No matter what I do, he seems to relate to my life in some way. I'm reading Jailbird right now, and it's all about socialism/communism, which is something I've done lots of thinking about in the past month or so.

Then Tynan and I went to Myra's to watch Muppets from Space. It was good. I laughed loud and often, as I tend to do. I liked the part with the characters from Dawson's Creek. The Muppets are good at satire, for a kids' show.

Afterwards Tynan and I decided to go to Wreck Beach. It was about 1:30, and I guess most of the drunk people [from Arts County Fair] were gone. It was beautiful. The tide was out, and it looked like a moonscape. Everything was blue and grey and alien. I've been there tons of times, but it looks completely different at night. We found a fire that someone had left unattended. Soon, two kids came and sat with us. Dan from Haida, and Jana from Vanier. We all talked about music, and school, and economics, and politics for a long time. The fire eventually started to die, so we headed back up and went to sleep. It was a good ending to the day.

On Friday I worked from 4:30 until 12:15 at both the grill in the Totem Cafeteria, and Safeway. Before work I had lunch with Janet, bought some random things at the bookstore and talked to some staff there about getting a job (they were very cool) and called Telus to let them know I wasn't dead. I saw Chantille on my way to Safeway, and we walked together, and she filled the entire thing up with inane chatter. At one point I said, "Chantille, what happened?" [to our friendship..] There was an ugly pause and she mumbled that she didn't know, and then just continued on. Disgusting.

When I got home from work I read a little Kurt Vonnegut and then went to sleep. I got up at about noon on Saturday. Hung out, listened to music, and ate with Tynan. We went to Vanier and sat outside doing "work" (well, he did work, anyway). Then Safeway until midnight again. Bleah. When I got back I was feeling manic. More insanely manic than usual. I was running around, and doing ninja kicks, and posing, and saying insane things. I decided at two am that we were going to go for a walk, goddammit. We went to the Botanical Gardens. I was very, very frightened, probably part of the mania. We sat in the tunnel (I took a couple pictures) and sang songs for a while. Then it got too cold, so we went home.

Worked again today, at Safeway.

The weather all of these days has been surrealistically beautiful. All the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and about an hour after the sun sets (like it is right now), the sky is totally blank and white, like a sheet. At night the stars are beautiful, and you can go outside without freezing your ass off. I love love love this time of year.

This emo band, called Piebald, are coming to the Java Joint in Surrey on the 18th. Tynan's into the whole emo scene and he thinks his cool scenester friends from UVIC might come, and he's trying to get me to appreciate emo, so I'm going. It'll be fun. I've never been to a small punk show before. In high school Tynan says he used to go to one a week. And that emo kids have their own special crazy dance moves. Emo boys apparently dye their hair black and wear black-rimmed glasses. So by that alone I'm excited to go.

Beck is coming, on the 29th, and the tickets have sold out. I think I might go and buy scalper tickets, simply because it's Beck, and I think if I wait until after the opening band plays, I'll be able to get them at cost.

The Violent Femmes are coming again. To the commodore on May 4th. It would be funny to go to that. But El Vez is coming on May 17th to the Starfish Room, too. Okay, there is no such thing as too many concerts, but there is such a thing as not enough money. So we'll see. I'd rather see El Vez than the Femmes.

Napster kicks bum, but I think the Resnet guys are onto us. For some reason my password got changed, so I had to log on as a new user. A couple days ago I got tonnnns of Divine Comedy. I have Casanova, a Short Album About Love, and Liberation in their entirety. I have chunks of the other albums. Neil Hannon is another minor deity. I found out that Tonight We Fly is based on the part in Douglas Adams' So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish [part 4 in the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy] when Fenchurch and Arthur Dent go flying over the city. An emalgamation of two wonderful British things. Sigh.

I'm eating cheese and crackers.